You are beyond capable, caring, responsible, and you are like a river-bed that is slowly drying up, with no foreseeable inlet to replenish you. You work hard to make sure you couldn’t possibly upset someone else and you learned to do this because you are UNMOTHERED or UNDER-mothered. Some adult daughters, grow up with a mom who was there with some consistency, but emotionally, it was always hot and cold. Some adult-daughters recognize a life-long absence of their mother, even though she is still alive. Some women, had their mothers stop speaking to them when they went to college, got married, or had a baby. You find that you continually ask yourself “what did I do?” that caused her to go away, pull-back, or get angry with you.

People pleasing and focusing on others is a way of life. I’m gonna tell you, it’s not about you, and this strategy of figuring out what you did wrong, or constantly trying to stay ahead of the blame curve is all you’ve known- and it’s running your life. What if there was more to life than trying to prove you are worthy, good, lovable?

Grief is an inevitable part of your life journey. But this particular kind of grief is ambiguous, not clear. There is no funeral for the woman who lost the relationship with a mom who is alive. There is no collective recognition of the nurturing she has lost: the love, phone calls, birthday cards, and family gatherings that are joy-filled. There is a lot of well-intended and unhelpful advice from society that leaves you feeling dismissed and unseen, even questioning if you are a bad person.

You are able to make life work out, successful, and probably from the outside, appear to others that all is well in your world. Not having a relationship with your mom (or a complicated one at best) is a pain that is so messy and unbearable at times, and often experienced in deep isolation. Sometimes this pain causes you to push harder, do more for others, become more, make more, have more, demonstrate to yourself that you are fine. And in many ways you are fine. I’m here to say there is more available to you. More life, more receiving, more inner freedom and more peace to be found.

This is my wheelhouse.

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I work with women leaders, founders, and professionals who have estranged or highly complicated relationships with their moms. Women who are high-functioning on the outside and have reached a point where all they know is they want support, want to stop the rumination of constantly trying strategize how to fix the relationship with their mom, stop feeling guilty and responsible, and finally embrace they might actually be good — somehow, someway.

Using Relational EMDR, IFS (parts work) psychodynamic therapy, and attachment-based work, we do deep work, where the real answers live. This work is not only psychological, it is somatic, spiritual at times, and relational, honoring the whole of who you are.

I do more than give you coping strategies or boundary scripts. I’m interested in supporting you in experiencing real change, in how you relate to yourself, to other women, and to the life you can create.

You don't have to keep carrying what is broken alone.

If you relate to some or all of this, welcome. Let’s talk. First of all, you’re not alone. Second of all, how about some support just for YOU. Feeling ready enough to say “YES” to yourself for an hour per week? Want to get to the heart of what is happening for yourself? This is my wheelhouse, the intersection of your professional role, personal challenges, being unmothered and tending to YOU. We can help you come home to your self. Let’s connect for our first conversation, a complimentary 30 minute consultation.